Forbidden Fruit

There was a famous story in the house I grew up in, about how I once ruined my mother’s brand new carpet. It was a tragic story, one that involved me, a sippee cup, a pop-pop and some grape Tang. It went like this. My parents moved in to what was a brand new town…

Magic Wands and Massage Tools

One of my good friends recently searched MAGIC WANDS online with her daughter, much to her CHAGRIN almost immediately afterward.  If you haven’t done this, I strongly encourage you to do so – without your children nearby. I thought, to relieve her embarrassment, I’d share my own HORRIFYING memory of a similar subject.  Let us…

Quest for Chili

For the first 15 years of my life, give or take, my mother was on a quest to make the chili my dad was seeking. The funny part of this was that the man was rarely to never home for dinner, so the idea of making something special FOR him for dinner seems odd to…

The Best Terrible Day

We had two choices for which day this weekend we would attend the Renaissance Festival down in Fairburn, GA. We diligently watched the forecast and radar, I got up EARLY on Saturday to ascertain how it was going to go, and we made the call. It had dropped to a 15% chance of rain on…

The One Where I Get Acupuncture

It was nothing like that. I have to admit I’m pretty impressed. I read a ton about it and I talked to someone I couldn’t afford AT ALL (like wow no you sound amazing but WOW NO). I found an acupuncturist that got really good reviews and then I did what any self respecting suburbanite…

The Busy Saturday

Sometimes the last days of spring before summer jumps in are pretty good. In my childhood memory those days are marked solidly between the end of school and the beginning of summer.  It always felt like you went to bed in the spring and woke up with no school the next day and BOOM it…

Sometimes I’m Silly

In fact, a huge amount of the time, I’m silly. I can’t really explain it except to say that my mother was silly and we come from a long line of silly people. I like weird stuff. I like the inane and the bizarre. I like things like…candy sushi. Obviously, from the thin slices of…

You Had One Job

You hear stories all the time, especially in the information age, of teachers who TRANSFORMED SOMEONE’S LIFE. Frequently these people get movies, or miniseries or at least some 90 minute program on Lifetime.  These miracle workers who turn people’s miserable existence around are not the subject of my story today. Nor are the good teachers….

The Gruesome Reality of Special Needs Pareting

This post is going to have some gross things in it. You know that commercial for the pregnancy test that has the “bent” stick so you don’t get pee on your hand and all the old hens always cluck that if you aren’t ready to get pee on your hand you’re not ready to have…

She Was Right There

My Mom died two years ago. I can say with confidence that I’m in a much better place about it than I was in the months or even year after it happened. I’m a functional adult again and that’s a good thing. This morning though, between my 5:45 “Get Louis out of bed” alarm and…