Wildly Underrated Medication

I decided that the days of Christmas were wearing me out because who needs 12 days of that nonsense. Geez. So today I’m going to rant about – medication. I have a variety of conditions that I think are not really that unusual for a chubby chick pushing 50. I have a couple of heart…

9 Ladies Dancing

On the 9th day of Christmas I fulfilled a promise and took my daughter to the gym with me. I don’t know WHY she wanted to go, but I promised she could go some time. We have free childcare and so she wanted to go and see what it was all about. Childcare places for…

8 Maids a Milking

The polar vortex came to town, or whatever it is they are calling it this year. It’s cold. It’s too cold. It was below 30 when I woke up, it was below 30 midday and it was below 30 and dropping when we went to bed. COLD. The first day of the year was spent…

Seven Swans a Swimming

Is it a coincidence that this elegant bird is the one we are supposed to give (or receive) on the eve of the New Year? It’s the traditional get dressed up and elegant night. It’s the party night. Swans are mean as hell, they eat duck eggs and they’ll attack you. They are the dicks…

Six Geese A-laying

On the sixth day of Christmas I was lucky enough to have old friends in town and have lunch with them. Seems like a pretty mundane event, lunch with friends. This instance though was one of those times when you catch up with someone and are reminded just HOW MUCH you liked them. It reminds…

Five Gold Rings

Did you know it’s not GOLDEN rings but GOLD rings? You’re supposed to hold the O like GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD Rings…… We’ve changed it over the years, we humans, and so probably you can now actually SAY it’s “golden” rings what with artistic license being what it is. But – I try to sing it the right…

Four Calling Birds

On the fourth day of Christmas I went back to work like a proper adult. I didn’t feel much like doing adult things, thus indicated by the fact that I dumped candy fruit slices into my plain Greek yogurt. That’s diet food right? Fruit and yogurt? Ok fine maybe not but I’m also a bit…

Three French Hens

Well they aren’t French, they’re German Irish. I’m not sure what my sister in law brought to the melting pot. Oh there’s some English too. But regardless of that, on the third day of Christmas we traveled to the mountains (nee “mountains” as my friend from actual mountains says I need to write it) to visit…

Two Turtle Doves

On the second day of Christmas my brother and his family went exploring in the great freezing outdoors of North Georgia and my family & I went to our old faithful holiday event – THE PINK PIG.   We love the Pink Pig for reasons that are hard to explain. It’s hard to convince someone…

A Patridge In A Pear Tree

We did the first day of Christmas a little differently this year and I have to say, I liked it. My brother and his family came to town, and we opted for family time and activity rather than the usual hours long cooked meal (by my husband) and then the equally hours long clean up….

The Hustle And Bustle

I love Christmas shopping. Yes, I love December 22 and the mall is fucknuts and traffic is crazy and people are just buying random whatever because it’s December 22 and the freak out is real. I don’t freak out. First of all I’m patient. That’s a huge part of this whole process. I love the…

Christmas Comes To Town

I think it’s weird when all the words anyone ever gives you as advice which feels trite and sappy one day turn into things you believe in. It’s even weirder when things like Mariah Carey songs are things you feel in your bones and you’re like YES GIRL SING IT  YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S ALL…