We have Charlie on a new regimen of trying to go to school for two hours a day. Day one and two went really well, and then on Thursday once we got there he squeezed his diaper as hard as he could and pee soaked the love seat in the high school lobby.
He then threw a tantrum and yeah, we left.
I was hoping for a better day today. The eternal optimist in me gets burned every time.
In fairness he was a little up and down today as we got ready for his 9-11 stint at school but he seemed okay with it when we left. He wasn’t mad or tantruming. But we pulled into school and mere moments after I parked, shenanigans kicked off.
He opened the door and took off for the lobby. You may recall that I need a double knee replacement, and I don’t run if I’m on fire. But I had this feeling – and I ran as fast as I could after him. He was hoofing it and there I went lugging my big ass behind him trying to catch up.
I opened the school lobby door mere moments after he entered but found him standing in front of a chair in this pose.
The puddle was audibly forming beneath his feet, and the chair was getting a nice soaking as well. I’m not actually sure where he got so much liquid but there it was all over the lobby and chair, to the horror of a few students who were in the lobby. I managed to call out to the receptionist that I had to go change him and to call someone to clean it – when Charlie starts screaming.
It was really cool. He’s just screaming and yelling, for no apparent reason as I shove him down the hall toward the restrooms, letting the receptionist know that I was going to be taking him home. When we got to the restroom I locked the door and he kept on screaming like he was being killed. He gave the walls several good smacks, eventually I heard the receptionist knock and call out to see if I needed help.
I did not. This is literally my day to day so I’m a pro at this nonsense.
I got him changed, I got him cleaned up and we headed back down the call to go home. Right at the end of the hall, as I entered the lobby, I see a teenage girl idly strolling toward the puddle – and said chair. I called “Watch out” at the same moment the receptionist yelled something like “Don’t sit there!” both things may have startled the girl because at that moment, the girl slipped on the pee and lost her footing.
But wait, there’s more.
In the slow motion horror that followed she waved her arms, grabbed the chair to keep from falling backward and face planted onto the chair. Directly onto, you guessed it, the pee spot.
I told the receptionist “She’s going to need new clothes.” Charlie and I hightailed it out of the lobby and headed home where he happily played himself music by the Beatles the entire ride. We aren’t sure if he can really go back to school at this point. But I do know this, as upset as I was about the whole thing, that poor girl had a much worse day than me.
Sorry kid. Collateral damage was your destiny today.
Just another day in paradise.
Gruesome Thursday 